John Thurman's Resilient Solutions Shortcast

Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail: How to Succeed with Yours

January 03, 2022 John Season 2 Episode 1
John Thurman's Resilient Solutions Shortcast
Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail: How to Succeed with Yours
Show Notes Transcript

Why do New Year’s Resolutions fail? Mainly, because they are only a statement, or what we wish for in the coming year. There are usually no action plans, no deadlines, no backup plans. Sometimes they are unrealistic resolutions, with no other thought or plans besides the statement.

3 Reasons they fail:

First, we need to get our thinking right before we can experience enduring change.

Second, we fail to have a structure—a pathway with some built-in accountability—to keep us focused and intentional.

Third, we are fearful of making these changes because of how they might impact us.

4 Barriers:

Barrier #1 — The feeling that we are fundamentally flawed and either don’t deserve or don’t have it in us to make the changes we need to make. In other words, we are limited by our own thinking.

Barrier # 2 — This one is a little odd, but I validated it in my book, The No-Fear Entrepreneur. It’s the fear of feeling disloyal. “If I make these changes and experience success, I might leave others behind, which would be wrong.”

Barrier # 3 — A belief that positive life change and success bring a more immense burden.

Barrier # 4 — The fear of outshining others or, as some of our mothers used to say, “Acting too big for your britches.”

3 Questions or an outline of an After Action Report

Question # 1 – What did I do right in 2021? Think about this in the context of personal growth, business/professional development, relationships, and spiritual growth. NOTE: Make sure your positives outnumber your negatives!

Question # 2 – What did I do wrong in 2021? Be brutally honest with yourself, but don’t get involved in self-flagellation or excessive self-criticism. Remember, do your best to ensure that your positives outweigh your negatives.

Question # 3 – What can I do better in 2022? Be crystal clear here. The main reason most people fail to meet any of their New Year’s Resolutions is that they are too broad, too generalized, and have no measurable outcomes attached to them.

Jon Acuff's suggestions:

1. Ninety days from now I will have ______________________________________________.

2. This sounds impossible, but I want to _____________________________________ this year.

3. This is weird, but I want to _____________________________________ in 2022.

Here is a link to the article and Jon Acuff's links to his book and YouTube.

Speaker 1:

Season two episode one, John Thurman's resilient solution forecast . Why new year's resolutions fail and how to help yours succeed? Well, we're in the first week of January, how are you new year's solutions doing well in today's forecast , I wanna share with you why most new years are resolutions fail, but how you might succeed in completing yours this year. Hello, my name's John Thurman and welcome to John Thurman's Brazilian solution forecast , where I help you become more resilient in your personal life, your relationship and your business endeavors, and welcome to season two episode one, looking forward to a great time with you today to give you some hope and encouragement as you work to fulfill your new year's goals and resolution. So why don't we jump right in? Well, hello and happy new year. I'm so glad. 2022 is finally here. Aren't you in a recent CBS survey, the research has found that 71% of Americans were more hopeful about 20, 22. Well , I believe it, man. I know I'm hoping for a great year. As we move forward with this new normal we are facing and dealing with and to help us all get off to a great start. Let me ask you , how are your new year's resolutions doing so far? I know it's only the first week of January, but I know from my own experience that so many of us make resolutions. And by the first or second or 3rd of January, they are gone cap put , they don't exist. Well, they shortcut, I wanna show you how you can take those goals and those resolutions and maybe make 'em work better this time. I know in my own life as the new, your approached, I really wanted to look at some fresh things, some new things to do that I might even stick to. And some of you may battle with that inner perfectionist that says, well, I'm not gonna do any less . They're gonna do. 'em all. You're never gonna do all of your resolutions, but hopefully by the end of this forecast , you'll have some tools you can use to do better. So even ask the question, why do so many new year's resolutions fail? Well, primarily they fail because they're only a statement, a wish. If you will, kind of a passing thought for many of us, I know in my own life while I've had these resolutions, there's not really been an action plan, a deadline or a backup plan. And sometimes those resolutions are so under realistic that I didn't even put any thought into it. So guess what? They were big fails. Very few of 'em happened . So we all wanna do better. Right? I know I do. And I'm planning on doing better. Why do we tend not to get those new year's resolutions done? Why do we fail in goal setting? Well, there are two or three reasons why, first of all, when you need to get our thinking right before we experience enduring change, secondly, we fail to have structure. As a matter of fact, if you failed a plan, you can plan on failing. And third, many of us are fearful of making the changes we need to make to experience the changes we wish to experience. Several years ago, gay Hendricks wrote an exceptional book, entitled the great leap, and she identified four barriers to getting what we want outta life barrier. Number one, the feeling that we are fundamentally flawed and either don't deserve or don't have it in us to make the changes we to make, to experience the life. We want to live that ladies and gentlemen means we are limited by our own thinking. After all the proverb says as a man think it's so is he barrier too ? And this is a little bit of an odd one, but I validated it in the research for my book, the no fear of entrepreneur. And that's the fear of feeling disloyal. If I may , these changes and experience the success and changes that I wish I might leave others behind, and that would be wrong. That's some weird thinking. You know, fear of success is a huge reason. People don't move forward. Barrier three is the belief that a positive change and success in my life would bring a terrific burden for me to bear. I'd say, make the changes and learn to grow bear four . And this is boy, I heard this growing up in the south and those are you with the Southern heritages. You can appreciate this next sentence. Uh , that fourth barrier is that fear of out shining. Others are some of our mamas used to say, don't act too big for your Brits . I know I heard that a couple times in my life. So did any of these sound like your story? They remind me of mine. Well, a new year is, is right here. I mean, it's here ladies and gentlemen, it is here and I'm feeling good about it. The research tells us that 71% of us in America feeling good about it. And I love this one scripture that says hope to makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfill is a tree of life. What are some things we can do? Well, I want to introduce to you a thing I've known for years. It's a process I've known for years. I learned it in the army and have used it in my experience as a corporate crisis response specialist. And that's the after action report. Now some of you may be thinking, well, John already early January, I know I didn't wanna put this out last week because everybody else was putting stuff out. But an after action review or after action report is simply a way of reviewing a process, an event or a year. And so here's a way to think about it. Three questions. What did I do right in 2021. Think about that in the context of personal growth, professional business growth relationships and spiritual growth note, make sure that you, your positives outweigh your neighbors here. Question number two, what did I do wrong in 2021? Be brutally honest with yourself, but don't get involved in self flag are beating yourself or self criticism and make sure that your positives outweigh your negatives. And then question number three. What can I do better in 2020, be crystal clear about this. The primary reason most of us fail to reach any new year's resolutions is that they're too broad, too general and have no measurable outcome or accountability attached to 'em . So you might be thinking, nice idea, John I'm already feeling enough shame and guilt and frustration for not even doing what I said is gonna do three days ago. Hey that's okay. What I'm fixing of you is a tool that you can use to where you'll have more success in doing. But before I do that, let me put this little thought worm in your head. The greatest enemy to making the changes that you and I want to make is our own inner perfectionist. Let that roll around a minute. It, the biggest reason we fail to make change in our life is our own inner perfectionist. Now , what I'm gonna give you today is a process. That'll help you see that for what it is and push through some of those smothering life choking barriers of perfectionism to help you experience some exciting new growth in 2022, you ready? Well , you've heard it said there's nothing new under the sun and truly there isn't, but there new ways of looking at it. And John Acus , an author and speaker I met a few years ago. I just love his fresh, energetic, very transparent approach to getting things done in your life. Matter of fact, he's written a number of good books and two of the books have been very influential in my life or soundtracks and his book finished . He also has a great YouTube and in the notes , you'll see a link to the book and to his YouTube episode on resolutions. Now I wanna give you three statements that John encourages people to use. And I've used these the past couple of years, and they've been really helpful. This should help you formulate crystallize and succeed at some of the goals you set for 2022, you're ready here . They are. These three state, these come straight from John Acus stuff, and I'd encourage you to listen to the YouTube video. It's really, really great stuff. Number one, here are the three statements 90 days from now. I will have fill in the blank. An example, 90 days from now, I will have walked X amount of miles 90 days from now. I will have lost X amount of pounds. I will have written three chapters in my new book. 90 days from now, I will have begun new friendships with three people. Think about things that you want to do in the next 90 days. Be straight up honest and straightforward statement. Number two. And I love this from John once again and think about this as you process what you want accomplish in 2022. This sounds impossible, but I want to fill in the blank this year. An example, if you wanna get in better shape, develop a plan that you would enjoy and that you would work. If you're traveling, even in a COVID world, write it down. If you want to improve your relationships, what would these look like? Cloud coaches, therapy reading. If you always wanted to write that book, learn how to do a good book proposal. If you wanna write fiction, nonfiction pros , start doing it. Fight that inter perfectionist and start putting the ink on paper. And then finally, if you're looking at really stretching yourself, pick a big old , hairy gold , that's scary. Write it down, trust God, get some accountability , move on. And then the third recommendation that John ACU makes, and this is really kind of fun. This is weird, but I want to fill in the blank in 2022, be bold because you'll need to be, when you begin to think like this you'll encounter a familiar enemy called fear. It'll whisper things like you can't do that. Who do you think you are? And for most of us fear means, forget everything on a run. Oh my gosh. I've heard that so many times by former pastor and a great speaker, Dr. Charles Lauer used to talk about, forget everything and run, but I prefer being a person who's positive and optimistic and hopeful. I'd like to kind of take that acronym and flip it. This is true to anything in life, you know, to get over your fear, you have to face it. So here's my little acronym for fear, face everything, and on. So what is one weird, bold brassy thing you wanna do in 2022? Write it down, pray about it. Tell people about it, make it happen. I hope you found this little shortcut cast helpful. As we launch into the new year. I also hope that you'll join me. As we learn to implement this new approach. Here's a parting piece of us and that you can apply for 2022. I love this. This comes from the old Testament, prophet Jeremiah in Jeremiah 29 11 for I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, there are plans for good and not for disaster to give you a future. And a hope I'd really want you to consider that verse and look at what it says about your life and your future. I love this old saying, if God be far us who can be against us , let's lean into 2022 together with hearts, fill with hope and possibilities. One of the things I'll be doing in the short castes weeks ahead is we'll be focusing on how to build hope and optimism so you can have the best outcomes you can have for 2022. I'd love to hear from you in the comments and please feel free to share this. If it's been meaningful for you. One of my goals and dreams is sheers to really expand my listenership so I can help you become more resilient in your personal life, your relationships, your is the sends and in your faith. And finally, as we close today's session out, let me remind you if you want to get in touch with me, just go to . That's that's just J O H N T H U R M a or email . Thanks so much for joining me today. And remember, this is the day that the Lord has made and I'll make a choice to rejoice and be glad in it. God bless . We'll see you next Tuesday morning, take care, be safe and go out and make 22, an exciting optimistic year miracles, byebye , and God bless.